By James Alexander McDaid
HONORARY PRESIDENT OF THE LABOUR4COMMUNISM STUDENTS SOCIETY
Arise ye starvlings and All Hail the People’s Princess!
Our United Kingdom awakes in a state of shock this morning, following the resignation of the Dear Leader, Comrade Something for Nothing, Johann Lamont. Let us today pay tribute to her glorious reign.
Sister Lamont will surely be synonymous with her brave battles against the democratic centralist faction [Milibandist-Leninist] within our Great British Labour & Trade Union Movement, having struggled to End rule from Westminster throughout her tenure.
Let us remember also Lamont’s battle to end bourgeois universalism, which as we all know is but a sticking plaster over the gaping wound of capitalist tyranny. All genuine Marxists fight to abolish free personal care, free bus passes and other Strurgeonite policies which pander to the old, the sick and other such reactionary elements. These are the self-same forces who set themselves against our demand to build a radical movement to smash London hegemony, something we in Scottish Labour have tirelessly campaigned to deliver.
Every true devolutionary will find comfort in the knowledge that the battle to build Johann’s nation of hope continues. Lamont shall forever be lauded as a shining beacon against the darkness of fear and ignorance, which was definitely not created by Scottish Labour. Instead, we in the workers’ movement put forth a truly radical demand – to put the revolutionary theory of not being sure to practical effect by doing as we were told. “If you don’t know, vote No” – that’s #praxis comrades. Hashtag. Praxis.
We must continue to re-educate the proletarian masses back towards their class interest, of not knowing anything. Ideas are counter revolutionary but we are materialists to our very core! Let that Nicola Sturgeon (who as I may have mentioned I’m sure Trotsky would also not have been able to abide) beg for scraps from the Westminster table of our Smithite overlords, we in the Scottish Labour Party demand all power to the North British people, we in the Scottish Labour Party have always demanded all power to the North British people. Our region will never tolerate being treated as a mere district!
We will strive to build a united front with all our brothers and sisters who reject the reformist agenda of welfarism across these isles. Only by voting Scottish Labour will we take something and give nothing back, thus creating the material conditions in which full proletarian devolution will take root.
The Worker has no country and for this transitional epoch, no leader either – but we shall continue to honour the legacy of the Peoples’ Princess in all that we do. Let our Lament for Lamont ring out today and forever:
END LONDON RULE – VOTE SCOTTISH LABOUR
More from Comrades McDaid & Lamont:
Hope Johann Lamont
Workers of the regions, United with Labour
We’ll keep the Brown flag flying here!
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Alright A, like your work. Could you pass this on to your script writer please.
“I’m worried. “People’s Princess” joke seems to be half trading on Johann’s appearance. Seems a bit below ATF standards to me.”
If you can pinpoint anything referencing or insinuating anything about Johann Lamont’s appearance in this piece, we’ll remove it sharpish.
Much as we abhor the politics put forward by Lamont, we abhor the misogyny directed against her more. There are plenty of reasons to dislike Lamont without going there.
[The “script writer”]