A Guest Post by James Alexander McDaid

Honorary President of the Labour4Communism Students Society

ARISE ye starvlings!  All hail the Scottish Labour Conference! The great leaders of the Labour and Trade Union Movement have finally revealed their vision for brighter future of equality and full communism, in the event of the workers’ rejection of bourgeois Salmondism in this September’s “referendum.”

Comrade something for nothing, Johann Lamont, told of the revolution which awaits in 2015, when our party is restored to its rightful place as a proletarian dictatorship across this whole United Kingdom, following the inevitable ascent of Millibandism at the general election.  She expressed her transitional demands, a Scotland which doesn’t LEAVE the UK but which LEADS it.   Today, I salute the various leaders of our Labour movement  and thank them for their contributions, which further the cause of Marxism across Britain and internationally.  We must always remember that Scottish Labour MPs will never deviate from their true path, they are the only people who can protect us from a future of right-wing Nattery and that Nicola Sturgeon, who we’re sure Trotsky wouldn’t have been able to abide either.

Before I celebrate our glorious victories against our class enemies, today is an appropriate day to pause to remember those (votes) we have lost, particularly with “Equal Marriage” now taking effect across South Britain. Let us commend those brave brothers and sisters, who fought against the extension of this bourgeois institution to those who practice anti-materialist things like gaiety.  All true Marxists know that “Equal Marriage” is an anathema and thankfully our movement knows no borders, so fraternal greetings to Scottish Labour MPs who travelled to Westminster to attempt to protect their comrades in England & Wales from Tory policies and the false consciousness of liberal marriage: Tom Clarke (Coatbridge Chryston & Bellshill), Brian Donohoe (Ayrshire Central), Michael McCann (East Kilbride Strathaven & Lesmahagow), Jim McGovern (Dundee West), Iain McKenzie (Inverclyde), Frank Roy (Motherwell & Wishaw), Jim Sheridan (Paisley & Renfrewshire North).  Engels would be so proud of all of you.

Engels: Not a fan of the gays

ONLY BY VOTING NO AND VOTING SCOTTISH LABOUR CAN WE FIGHT AGAINST MARRIAGE, NOT JUST FOR GAYS OR IN ENGLAND & WALES BUT ACROSS OUR WHOLE UNITED KINGDOM AND THROUGHOUT THE WORLD.

Just as those of us who reject the moralistic patriarchal hierarchy of the capitalist state know that it has no business performing “marriages”, we also know that it has no business in the bedroom. So the party of the workers has no need to turn up to Westminster to vote against the Bedroom Tax. Douglas Alexander (Paisley & Renfrewshire South), Gordon Brown (Kirkcaldy & Cowdenbeath), Anas Sarwar (Glasgow Central), Pamela Nash (Airdrie and Shotts), Jim Murphy (East Renfrewshire), Ann McKechin (Glasgow North), Jimmy Hood (Lanark and Hamilton East), David Hamilton (Midlothian), Frank Doran (Aberdeen North) & Brian Donohoe (Ayrshire Central) were all otherwise engaged in class struggle when the vote was going on.  What care we for property anyway? The worker has no bedroom!

ONLY BY VOTING NO AND VOTING SCOTTISH LABOUR CAN WE FIGHT AGAINST ATTENDING INSTITUTIONS LIKE PARLIAMENT TO VOTE AGAINST TORY POLICIES.  ONLY BY SEIZING THE STATE CAN WE MAKE IT PAY FOR ALL THE BEDROOMS IN ALL THE HOUSE OF ALL THE LABOUR MPS, NOT JUST IN SCOTLAND BUT ACROSS THESE ISLES! 

And of course, this week saw the zenith of our struggle, as we put all the words about battling against inequality and protecting the vulnerable into praxis in Westminster.  No less than 30 Scottish Labour MPs, lined up in support of Comrade Cameron and his cap on benefits, a true demonstration of the indivisibility of the working class.  What could be more working class than a cap?

Nothing says “traditional Labour values” like putting a cap on poor people

If it wasn’t for the influence of Scottish Labour MPs, it might have been a benefit top hat or even a benefit fedora. And if you can’t get a job and we’ve just voted to take away even more of your benefits, a cap could also come in handy to collect loose change from passers by – we in the Labour movement call that “solidarity” and we can look forward to a lot more of it in the new epoch which awaits. Marxist journal, The Scotsman, ran this excellent and totally unbiased story about how those nationalists are definitely the baddies who’ve betrayed our class by opposing Tory cuts. But rather than be negative and focus on the SNP, let we in the Labour Movement heed the words of the great progressive, Willie Rennie, who said we must pursue a “sunshine strategy” to demonstrate the benefits of Britain.

In that spirit, let the great rays of hope shine upon those who stood united for welfare cuts and for Great Britain: Willie Bain (Glasgow North East), Gordon Banks (Ochil and South Perthshire), Dame Anne Begg (Aberdeen South), Tom Clarke (Coatbridge, Chryston and Bellshill), Margaret Curran (Glasgow East), Alistair Darling (Edinburgh South West), Ian Davidson (Glasgow South West), Thomas Docherty (Dunfermline and west Fife), Frank Doran (Aberdeen North), Gemma Doyle (West Dunbartonshire), Sheila Gilmore (Edinburgh East), Tom Greatrex (Rutherglen and Hamilton West), David Hamilton (Midlothian), Tom Harris (Glasgow South), Jimmy Hood (Lanark and Hamilton East), Cathy Jamieson (Kilmarnock and Loudon), Mark Lazarowicz (Edinburgh North and Leith), Gregg McClymont (Cumbernauld, Kilsyth and Kirkintilloch East), Anne McGuire (Stirling), Anne McKechin (Glasgow North), Iain McKenzie (Greeenock and Inverclyde), Grahame Morris (Livingston), Jim Murphy (East Renfrewshire), Ian Murray (Edinburgh South), Pamela Nash (Airdrie and Shotts), Sandra Osborne (Ayr, Carrick and Cumnock), John Robertson (Glasgow North West), Frank Roy (Motherwell and Wishaw), Lindsay Roy (Glenrothes) & Anas Sarwar (Glasgow Central).

ONLY BY VOTING NO AND VOTING FOR SCOTTISH LABOUR CAN WE DELIVER REAL EQUALITY BY ENSURING MPS FROM ALL THE PRO-UNION PARTIES VOTE FOR EXACTLY THE SAME TORY POLICIES!

Scottish Labour must remain steadfast in our commitment to protect the hard-working families of Scotland by ensuring their nuclear arsenal remains on the Clyde.  We must continue to stand shoulder to shoulder with all those throughout Britain who want to rid our nation of reformist and fundamentally un-Marxist constructions like “the welfare state” and build a united front against seperatism.

All hail the new leaders of new Labour in the new United Kingdom!

All hail our eternal protectors! 

All hail Scottish Labour MPs!

Workers of all regions, United with Labour!

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