Here at A Thousand Flowers, we’ve covered more gay rammies than we’ve had hot dinners.  It’s fair to say us queers don’t always get along. Imagine if a force existed which was so powerfully awful, it could unite us, G1 Group, Pride Glasgow and even the gay cops.  Step forward, the LGB Alliance, the latest in a long line of groups which is trying to look really official and representative when it’s just the same few roasters whinging about trans people having rights.

With their ChangeUK (RIP) style logo which even the LGB Alliance said was drawn up “on the back of a fag packet” (no laughing at the back!)  and their “virtual office” address they share with dozens of other companies, you could be forgiven for thinking they’re not exactly a major operation. They follow in the footsteps of luminaries like ForWomen.Scot and Women And Girls in Scotland by pretending they’re totally about the rights of one group despite having never cared enough about said group to have even bothered existing before the proposed changes to the Gender Recognition Act (GRA).

In case there was any doubt that this dubious front was anything other than an anti-trans group, they announced their first Scottish meeting where the “top item” (I said no laughing!) was stopping GRA reform.

While much of the panel at the event in Òran Mór in Glasgow was grimly predictable, there was a particular bold choice of speaker in the form of the notorious tweeter who goes by the moniker “Women Make Glasgow”. She’s well known for defending LGB people via the unorthodox method of… complaining about healthcare which has prevented us from needlessly dying, raging about protection for LGBT refugees and saying “biphobia isn’t a real thing.”  And who could forget the claim there were no “indigenous” LGBT people in Malta?  [Me, I forgot but thankfully one kind reader reminded me.]

If any evidence was needed that the anti trans panic quickly seeps into open homophobia and biphobia, it’s “Women Make Glasgow”.  Obviously, her speech mentioned how LGBT clubs in schools were bad which is what we’d expect from someone who’s notoriously bigoted towards LGBT people.  Just not what you’d expect at a group alleging to be about LGB rights.

Other “highlights” from the day included the most awkward dancing we’ve ever witnessed and of course a guest appearance from Self Appointed Gay Ally and Weekly Wanker, Joan McAlpine.

Not content with keeping their bad dancing safely within the confines of Òran Mór, one member thought it would be a great idea to turn up to Polo Lounge sporting an LGB Alliance t-shirt.  She, obviously, got booted out coz wearing a t-shirt for a group opposed to basic rights for trans people in an LGBT club is a shit idea. Cue much whining about the Equality Act and Protected Characteristics (t-shirts are not, in fact, listed as protected within the Equality Act).  Joining in on the “fun” was the omnipresent Joanna Cherry MP.

A small problem with this “analysis” is the women isn’t a lesbian, she’s bisexual, and she evidently wasn’t thrown out of the club because of her sexuality.  But it seems those keen on exploiting the anti-trans frenzy for personal political gain don’t care much for facts.

[You can post the predictable legal threats for daring to criticise your consistently shite behaviour while you sprattle on about protecting #freespeech online to “Juan MacDefinitelyMyRealName c/o LGB Alliance, Kemp House, 152 – 160 City Road, London, EC1V 2NX”]

At the weekend, Pink News (who we also now think are hip and cool, honest) ran a story about how LGB Alliance director, Malcolm Clark, also criticised LGBT clubs in schools.  Coz who doesn’t love a bit of Section 28 retro, right?

Malcolm took to Twitter to denounce this as “lies”, in 24 inglorious tweets, which confirmed that he does actually oppose them, linking LGBT clubs to “predatory teachers”, claiming kids are incapable of basic comprehension (no, that’s just you) and building to a “THINK OF THE STRAIGHT KIDS AND THEIR TAX PAYING PARENTS” conclusion.   As Malcolm will know, LGBTQ people are famously exempt from paying tax. No wait…

“THINK OF THE STRAIGHTS” Ancient Gay Rights Proverb

One campaigner took to Twitter to ask Joan McAlpine, who was cheerily photographed being hugged by her “friend”, Malcolm Clark at the LGB Alliance event, if she agreed with his comments about LGBT clubs in schools.  A reasonable question given her association with Clark and the fact that she sits in a Parliament responsible for education policy.  Avoiding the question would have been one thing but this being Joan Of McAlipers, it descended into how dare anyone bully her by asking a question. McAlpine has previously wheeled out Malcolm Clark, like he’s her Pet Gay, when it’s been convenient , but now he’s making a massive public embarrassment of himself, all mention of him is unfair and probably incitement.

McAlpine claimed the circle drawn round her and Clark (actually the ⭕ emoji) was a “target” – hilarity ensued with twitter users adding the emoji to their names, taking pictures of themselves surrounded by the emoji and generally pishing themselves that someone in actual power was so keen to play the victim for attending an anti trans event with her pal.  We’ll be delighted to update the blog should Joan get round to answering the fucking question, ever.

A cursory glance at the kind of regressive bullshit promoted by the LGB Alliance reveals just how much they want to pick away at the progress made by LGBTQ people.  From criticising (not even new) guidance around biphobic, transphobic and homophobic bullying in schools to sharing posts laughing at men who wear particular clothes.

Lads, is it gay to promote stereotypes about what men are allowed to wear?

We’ve long warned that these anti trans fronts were a Trojan horse for an agenda which drags us all backwards and the LGB Alliance are a case in point.  Much like the organisations who claim to be “For Women” do with groups who actually do… anything for women, the LGB Alliance seem to spend A LOT of time undermining groups who provide support and services to LGBTQ people and communities.  The aim of these anti trans groups seems to be to delegitimise and ultimately defund groups who provide a lifeline to the most vulnerable – before they replace them as a voice for the communities they do fuck all to support. Despite raising a cool £44,000, the LGB Alliance seems so far to have made some T-shirts, released a pop song and given a platform to frothing Twitter bigots.  How this benefits gay, lesbian and bi people is anyone’s guess.

But they have achieved a level of unity amongst LGBTQ people and groups previously unheard of.  In what may or may not be a coincidence, many of the groups who ACTUALLY exist to support LGBTQ people and fight for our collective rights signed an open letter reaffirming their support for reform of the GRA and their solidarity with trans people.

You could argue the “LGB Alliance” has succeeded in creating… a genuine alliance of LGB people where many before them have failed.  The problem for the “LGB Alliance” is that the alliance they created is united by a common belief in trans rights, GRA reform and the knowledge they’re complete and utter wankers.

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Further reading:

Inside the transphobic hate conference being promoted by the Scottish media

We asked Women’s Aid centres if they’re trans inclusive and here’s what they said

WEEKLY WANKER #080: IAIN MACWHIRTER

WEEKLY WANKER #081: JOAN MCALPINE

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