If you’re anything like me (and who wouldn’t want to be like me?) you’ve just woken up at 3pm on a Saturday on a comedown with nothing but a long day of Netflix and food ahead of you. So kick back, stick yer hauns doon yer pants, and set yourself up for a three-day weekend of self love brought to you by A Thousand Flowers’ TOP 5 SONGS ABOUT WANKING
5. Toni Braxton – You’re Making Me High
4. Pamputae – It Goody Good
Pat yuh pussy an call yuh man name
3. Madonna – Into The Groove
Do not even try and tell me this is really about “dancing”
“At night I lock the doors where no one else can see” is one of the best delivered lines in any song, and it’s EVEN BETTER now you know it’s about wanking
2. Prince – Do Me Baby
Wait for it.
1. Tweet ft. Missy Elliott – Oops (Oh My)
If you don’t lose your shit and start rubbing yourself when this comes on you have no soul
“I was looking so good I couldn’t reject myself”
A Thousand Flowers 