Words by Frank McAllister MP
As a proud Brit I am also PROUDLY Scottish. The saltire does not belong to Alec Salmond’s dirty seperatist hands. It belongs to all of us across this nation of taxi drivers, publicans, bookies and 24-hour newsagents. It’s on that point I’d now like to raise the issue brought up by my parliamentary colleague Margaret Curran.
Speaking on the unlikely scenario of a victory for Scottish Seperatism (hereby referred to as the SS) she raised the nightmare scenario that her son studying in England would, in fact become a FOREIGN. It really is the nightmare of every parent. The idea that the delightful little sprog of your eye becomes the equivalent of some frog eating, greasy haired, bearded foreign type.
We all know them. The young, tanned waiters called Enrique who refuse your Parliamentary bar tab as collateral in Tenerife. The band of Pan Pipers who want you to spend a tenner on a compact disc of ambient whistly pish. Or the German bureaucrats called Fritz who want an EU investigation into the practices of some of your close election donors. Foreigners are awful. Being British effectively protects us from such a terrible fate.
But Frank, I hear you say – “Is that not a rather contradictory view given your support for an international union of nations called the United Kingdom?”. To which I respond; “Fuck off dickhead”. Well ok I’ll expand a bit more on that. I’m all for internationalism. Provided it’s between Wales, England and Scotland. I.e. all the places in which you can vote for Labour (and in particular Scottish Labour) which is the high-water mark of human achievement. It’s voting Labour repeatedly and consistently in the face of our party’s inability to change or meaningfully effect any kind of social progress that sums up our nations brave spirit of defiance.
Internationalism stops FIRMLY at the cliffs of dover for me. Beyond that is a terrifying world of border controls, uncooked food and worst of all places where being a Labour MP counts for NOTHING. No bar tab. No free pakora. A hellhole that we glimpse here only when we occasionally visit Lidl. I say NO to such a totalitarian future – vote NO and stop EVERYONE in BRITAIN from becoming a FOREIGN.
PS: You can now Follow Follow me on twitter! Apparently it’s not a search engine, whatever, I don’t care – https://twitter.com/FMcallisterMP